My So-Called Life

Hello! I have been away, and now I am back and I am trying to think of wonderful positive things about how refreshed I feel after a week in Spain at my Mum and Dad's villa, and how positive I feel about the future because my houe is starting to feel a little bit more like home every day..... but it's not working.

Ok, so I need to remember all the wonderful things I can feel enormously positive about.

1. ) It is true that I have spent the past week dans la espagnol, in a beautiful villa that I can go to any time I want because my parents own it. All week we did nothing but lie by the pool and eat and drink FAR TOO MUCH, I have not felt hungry since last Wednesday, the most difficult decision we made all day was whether or not to have ice in our drinks because you know, it was hot and ice melts which means your drink can be watery but really, I mean how long is the drink going to be in the glass for? The ice will still be ice so just put some in so the damn thing's cold etc etc etc... you can see where I'm going with this, hardly questions worthy of Einstein.

2.) It is also true that I spent the week before that at home doing things to the house, venturing out to shop and take my lovely and hard working man out for lunch. I slept in every single day (I made a rule that I was not allowed out of bed until after Will and Grace, which I think is on at 9.30am) and watched something in the afternoon presented by Nigella Lawson (one of my most favourite people who I have never met) and then something about babies (which I did not have to pretend to be embarassed about watching because Glenn was at work). SO I had plenty of time to chill out and forget about things.

3.) I got to spend tonnes and tonnes of time with the people in my Top Ten Friends Of All Time list, two of which firmly positioned themselves in the Top Five (one of which cemented herself in the Top One.... You know who you are....) I was cooked for, I was shopped for, I was shown in short what a real friend is and how if ever there was a time to completely let go of all that rubbish with three people who threw themselves out of any kind of list last October, then this is it. True friends wipe the tears from your eyes, mow the grass in your lawn when hay fever means you lose your eye sight when you spend too much time near grass, they cook for you when your cooker is in a box in the living room and all you have to cook with is a microwave and they CANNOT FACE you only eating microwaved food, they tart up your CV when your job becomes more than you can take anymore, they invite you to things ALL THE TIME and you forget what it was like to feel alone, they make you buy discounted designer jeans because they could see the sadness in your eyes when you put them back on the rail because they were JUST SO PRETTY. So all in all, I discovered that I am most definately not alone, and the only person who makes me feel rubbish is me, and I have the most special friends in the whole entire world and YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE MINE.

4.) Glenn, for he is just the most beautiful person in the universe and every happy love song makes me think of him and every sad love song makes me feel sad that the people who wrote the sad song never met him because if they did then they would never feel sad again (either that or they'd kick his skinny sarcastic ass). We have been through the first rough patch of our relationship recently but it's not surprising what with my job and his job and the house and everything, I don't think many couples could say that they could live through the last couple of months that we have and not have a few cross words. The point is that this rough patch was really not so rough and every morning when I wake up next to him I feel like the luckiest woman alive (and then he farts, and it's ruined).

5.) My Family, they're not so bad, in fact they're really quite nice. I suppose.

So there you have five reasons that mean that whether or not my employer has told me that I will be away from home Monday to Friday every week for the next three months, I don't care because I've still got reasons to stick two fingers up to the world and say you know what? Send me away if you want, because the reason I get so sad about being away is because the life I leave behind is pretty fucking great.

And I think that that's a really good reason to be sad.

P.S I would like to record for posterity the fact that yesterday I popped round to my parents and my mum asked us if we needed to eat and I said yes please (Cooker's in a box remember) and she said how about a bit of pasta and a sausage? And less than half an hour later called us into the dining room to a full roast chicken dinner because part way through getting the pasta out of the cupboard she changed her mind and decided we needed vegetables.

Is that not totally amazing?! Seriously, FROM SCRATCH, IN LESS THAN HALF AN HOUR.

And she guessed the secret ingredient in Tina's Secret Ingredient Chocolate Cake without even tasting it.

Reason 6. My Fucking Awesome Mother.