We're off then.

I'm going to try and post something while we're away but I'm not sure how likely it'll be until we get to Selena and Matt's house, where I will probably then just want to lie on the beach until someone picks me up and throws me in the shower. Actually I'm not sure we're even going there anymore, something was mentioned about a cabin, ah well! Like I said, just pick me up and put me somewhere, I'll be happy.

We're packed, we're vaccinated, the taxi is picking us up in less than three hours and then it's Hong Kong, Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide and Bangkok.

I've started to feel that pre-flight nausea a little bit, and I am pretty sure I've forgotten lots of stuff but other than that, it's very exciting!!

Please don't worry about Glenn's whiter than white head, he has factor 50 and a hat.

We arrive back on Monday 10th December, see you then.

x

Today, I bought this:

The Panasonic Lumix DMC-LX2

FOUR DAYS TO GO!!

A little distracted...

Ha ha! I'm sat in my house and a bus just went past the window advertising a film called 'Shrooms', which imdb.com reliably tells me is a horror movie based around americans going magic mushroom hunting in Ireland - Now that's a film worth seeing!!

Yeah, I'm supposed to be working, as it is I have bought some shoes, got my Dad's birthday present, made the garage sign my service book, done two lots of washing... What I have not done, is the report that I'm actually at home to write, two pages down, 20 to go...

Urgh this is just like being at uni, all the papers are laid out on the table, laptop is on... and I'm in the next room writing my christmas card list. I am pathetic. Work woman! Do some work!

Our little Holiday Of A Lifetime cannot come quickly enough.

PANIC!

Reply to an email about what to pack when camping in Australia.

So, I panicked when I read that part of the email, the part about the camping, and needing a torch to identify spiders in the toilet, and the part about the SPIDERS IN THE TOILET. So I rang Glenn in a "OH MY GOD THE CAMPING AND THE TORCH AND THE SPIDERS IN THE TOILET!" kind of a way, and we are NOT camping, there is no camping in the tours we are doing, it's all youth hostels and motels or something, anyway, then I kicked off about sleeping in a dormitory in a youth hostel, but apparently it's all ok, Glenn's trying to get us upgraded to our own room, phew! So no camping and no dormitory, seriously, I do private rooms, private beds in private rooms, that is all.

There was also a part in the email about how to pack your underwear, about how your knickers should fit inside the cup if their corresponding bra, so you can find them in the bottom of your bag.

Like my underwear isn't like that at all times, it is exactly like that, it is also colour co-ordinated, in separate light and dark draws.

SometimesI feel like no one knows me at all.

Scoff.

Possibly the worst thing you can hear on your way to a wedding

Paul: So Hannah, are you dreading this wedding because you don’t like weddings or because you’ve had sexual relations with the groom?

Me: MANY YEARS AGO and can that be the last time that that's mentioned today?

Paul: I think I speak for all of us when I say no.

Conversation on the way to a wedding

Me: Where the hell are we?

Amit: I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure bestiality is legal here.

Paul: You couldn’t do a job in a city if you lived out here.

Me: No one in a city would employ you if you told them you lived out here.

Matt: The distance between here and civilisation is why people who live in the country kill things.

Me: The distance between here and civilisation is why people who live in the country kill each other.

Amit: See that old lady shuffling along?

Me: Yep.

Amit: She’s off to film her guest spot in last of the summer wine.

Conversation at a wedding reception

Paul: Well done

Me: Thanks, I thought I did well, complimentary etc

Paul; Complimentary? You made it sound like this was the greatest wedding you had ever been to in your entire life, that is was maybe the greatest wedding in the history of weddings, it was quite something to watch.

Me: Too gushy?

Paul: Possibly.

Saturday 3rd November 2007

Mr Starkey got married, there was a lot of thought that went into whether or not I really wanted to go to this wedding, but I’m really glad I did. I set off feeling like I was on the way to star in my very own horror movie, and it was a thought I encouraged, I debated the best way to attract a serial killer round the back of the reception, should I wear a man’s white shirt? Have some outdoor sex? Partake in a class A or two….?

It was though, a simply lovely day. I went to sleep on Saturday night with all these things going around my head about what I wanted to write about it, and all I could remember the following morning was something about “being incredibly proud, remembering the boy I knew then, watching the man he is today, promise to love, honour and cherish, this wonderful girl”, which just goes to show, champagne makes you want to write all kinds of sentimental crap

Best quote from a wedding

End of the grooms speech: And to my wife, you have been my strength and my faith for five years, thank you.

To explain....

Moch once had a boyfriend called Bryn, I think it was Bryn. I forget how old we were but I would hazard a guess at 14/15... Anyway, I called him Bra, not just once, I called him Bra all the time, and one day, we were outside her house and the boys were throwing a football around and I said something about Bra and I think it was that one time too many and then next thing I know the football was thrown at my head.

So my eyes watered and mys head spun and I think I was in shock, I think she was a little in shock too, so I went home, and then refused to answer the door, or talk to her at all, until she started pushing notes under the door, notes that said she was so sorry, so so sorry, and she would never do it again, and she really didn't mean to do it at all, and she was so sorry, and please would I stop calling her boyfriend Bra?