Thursday July 7th 2005

I want to write something about what happened yesterday. I don't really feel qualified to comment on the politics, I don't even feel qualified to write about the enormous devastation and tragic loss of life that happened when terrorists struck London's transport system.

When planes struck the Twin Towers in 2001, I was, as everyone was, completely shocked at such brutality and wanton slaughter, that people in another country could hate a way of life so much that they were willing to die to destroy it. I didn't understand it. Neither though, did I understand the reaction of America, I don't mean the grief or the hysteria, I was 16 when Princess Diana died and I can understand much more why a country would be plunged into a state of national mourning because of a terrorist act resulting in the loss of thousands of innocent peoples lives than one woman in a car, however beautiful or special she was. What I didn't understand about America's reaction was the vigilante attitude that overtook them, George Bush and his axis of evil, the way it was split into black and white, good or evil, I never believed that you can just condem a whole group of people for a minorities actions. 'How dare they invade Afghanistan' I thought, how many people die in the middle east everyday and no one takes any notice, all of a sudden it's American's and countries are invaded, bombed, torn apart. The war on terror began and I thought, 'how did this happen? When did America become the world police? who gave them the right?'

I think a lot of this attitude came from being a child in a country that, through the 80's and most of the 90's, lived under tha shadow of the IRA, I understood what it meant to have that threat hanging over you, that it is indescriminate and unwielding, that it doesn't care about who you are, or your family, your age, your colour; if you are alive, then it wants you dead.

Then yesterday happened and I was shocked at my own reaction, I panicked when I thought of friends who may have been caught up in it (all are ok, thank God), I cried when I saw the pictures on the news and heard those who lived through it describe their experinces and then my sense of outrage grew and grew, how DARE these people come into my country and try and destroy my way of life and the people I love, who are they to say that we live the wrong way, that we deserve to die through such terrible violence because they feel wronged.

They are undoubtedly brave and clearly strong in their convictions, their beliefs, but how do you begin to understand those who would destroy you with bombs.

My heart aches when I think of those who were suddenly and terribly alone last night. I had an email today from someone I haven't spoken to in a long, long time, he said he didn't know why he was getting in touch today of all days but that he hoped I was well. I did something I didn't know I could do and I replied, I said I was well, happy and I was so, so glad he was as successful as he was and I thanked him for getting in touch. In times like these, nothing that mattered before seems to matter still.