Unleashed and Empowered – My new hobby, and the other reason Glenn’s not gettin’ any.

BODYCOMBAT™ is the empowering cardio workout where you are totally unleashed. This fiercely energetic program is inspired by martial arts and draws from a wide array of disciplines such as karate, boxing, taekwondo, tai chi and muay thai. Supported by driving music and powerful role model instructors, strike, punch, kick and kata your way through calories to superior cardio fitness. .

And it kicks your arse, and you have no time to update your blog, which is annoying, but strangely, you feel better than you have in a long time. I have written a few times about wanting to get fit, lose five stone and transform into Kate Moss but hadn’t found a way to do it which fitted in with my laziness, my unwillingness to spend a lot of money and The Job. However, my boss has granted me a reprieve from the travelling for a couple of months, the gym had a ‘bring a friend’ offer which Moch got for me (£25 a month all in), and the evenings are lighter now which means I am less likely to want to crawl into bed the second I get home.

The first time I went to Body Combat I spent an hour not really believing I was there, the instructor was taking it very seriously (with such gems as "give me your tiger, GRRRRR!", "Where's your guard? If you ain't got your guard, you ain't 'ard!" and "WEAVE! WEAVE! We go undetected....."), and there were lots of routines which I didn’t understand, but eventually you realise that everyone in the class is so busy concentrating on getting it right themselves, no one could give a damn about what you’re doing. My personal favourite is the one where you punch the head of an imaginary person you are holding against the floor with your other hand, with every punch you have to shout “HEAD!” as loud as you can, and it’s done to a track where the main lyrics are “It’s time to die” or something like that. Honestly, I couldn’t have wished for a more dramatic form of exercise, it’s absolutely perfect!

I can highly recommend getting a gym buddy though, someone who you have to go with, so you can motivate each other, I am incredibly weak willed when it comes to keeping this up, especially at the level we have thrown ourselves in at, so it's massively helpful to have someone who will leave you answer phone message that say "We're booked on Body Combat, pick you at at quarter to eight, NO EXCUSES!". Am unsure what motivation I am providing her with as I mainly lie on the floor after the class spluttering "no... more.... want... to... die... leave... me... alone", but I can tell you that she's certainly helping me. Her and her Big Gym Pants.

So the plan at the moment is to do at least 4 classes a week, and a mixture of combat (cardio, cardio, cardio), pilates (tone, tone, tone), yoga (if I could just remember to breathe….), and then a bit more combat (cardio, cardio, cardio).

This time next year I am going to be America’s Next Top Model, which is Glenn's absolute favourite TV show in the whole world... can't think why.... Although I do regularly hear him shouting "It's all about YOU Tyra isn't it?! All about you!" at the TV.

PS. I have been doing this for four weeks now and have not the smallest clue what it means when it says that you ‘kata your way through…’.

PPS. Try not to feel too sorry for him, he is getting some…