Devil in a Blue...... Frank Lloyd Wright creation?

Last week ‘im indoors and I were off ill with a nasty virus that meant we both felt very sorry for ourselves and spent the week determined to prove that one was far worse than the other one. Anyway, that’s enough about that because frankly it was all a bit disgusting.

Saturday night was my university reunion, with accommodation at one of the halls of residence and a night at the union. So weeks and weeks ago I bought my ticket and arranged with my friend Nic to travel to Hull together. Then Evil Ex-Boyfriend, R, emailed me and asked if I was going, because he was going and maybe it would be nice to catch up etc etc. This threw me into a panic, I haven’t spoken to him for five years, and there is a reason for that, the reason being he is Evil and there is frankly, no place for Evil in my sunny disposition.

However, then I was poorly and to cut a long story short, Nic and I ended up driving to Hull, only to drive to Sheffield a few hours later because the state I was in meant I could cope with barbecue at her boyfriend’s house much better than a night a student union.

So at 10pm I get a text from The Evil One, he asked if I was at the union, I said no, I was poorly and hadn’t been able to attend, and then he rang me.

He rang me.

And then I answered.

Oh foolish, foolish me.

He told me everyone at the union was fat, he said the girls were at least a size 14, I mean really, imagine that! A size 14! How horrendous…

He asked me what I did for a living and I told him, only to get a 10 minute lecture on how I had sold out and had “no passion for anything any more, just some slick management type”, and my life had “no soul”, apparently everyone who does the kind of job I do is some kind of giant arsehole.

He is an architect, so we can all sleep easy now because this means architects surely have souls.

I told him it was a little unfair to make such a huge judgement, he after all hasn’t spoken to me for five years and has no idea who I am, or why I do what I do, nor can he say why anyone really does the job they do, each individual has their own reasons. He failed to see “how anyone can live without doing something they’re passionate about”. I said I was passionate about plenty of things, whether they factored into my professional life or not.

He asked me how the house was coming along and I said “oh just lovely, it’s nearly finished, it’s a three bed terrace, palace of a house”, to which he replied “really? Well I won’t tell you about how my newest client has a budget of 4 million and lives next to Jude Law”.

Oh right, ok, so why now, did you tell me?

Then he told me he had always thought of me touring the Midlands, playing Tina in an S Club 7 tribute band.

Surely the most hysterical thing about this whole encounter is that I was worried about seeing him in case old feelings were stirred up.

So, we can learn from this, we can learn that Evil lives, it thrives among us, it is embodied in the form of an architect, living in London, it has close proximity to Jude Law.

And that I have no soul.