Conversation with a tired person (me)

Me: GLENN!

Him: Jesus! What?!

Me: Someone is stealing money from my account!

Him: What?

Me: I am looking at my account online and there is a withdrawal from this funny code and I did not pay it out and SOMEONE IS STEALING MY MONEY!

Him: How much?

Me: £2.80

Him: Hang on, you're actually having some kind of breakdown, because you can't account for £2.80 missing from your account?

Me: YES! First it's £2.80, you know, just to see if they can get away with it, then they take more, and more, and before you know it, they've stolen my identity and we're being evicted!

Him: Who is the payment going to?

Me: QPark BWM

Him: £2.80.... QPark... BWM.... Ha ha ha ha ha!

Me: THIS IS NOT FUNNY!

Him: Q-Parking, Birmingham Womens's Hospital, you numpty, it's your bloody carparking charges!

Me: Oh.

Him: Is this you being stupid?

Me: No, it's me being vigilant!

Him: Stupid and vigilant

Me: I don't...

Him: You're a stupid vigilante.

Me: That's not very..

Him: You burn down any houses belonging to paediatricians lately?

Me: Fuck off.