Here's a question; would you rather I was:
a) The kind of friend who tells you exactly what they think when asked an opinion, the kind of person who, when in discussion, says what they think no matter how much it clashes with your point of view.
or
b) The kind of friend who tells you that yes, you are right, and you want me to tell you that you are right, so that is what I am doing, you are right.
I think that most people, when asked that question, would go for A, but a lot would secretly like B.
So what does that mean? Or is it a matter of deciding what kind of friend you should be according to the situation? I'm friend A, I always have been, I can't just agree with a person so as not to upset them, I've definitely lost friends in the past because of this, but I like to think the friends I have are real friends, no one I know would think of me as a sycophant and I wouldn't want to be one.
But does that breed resentment and tension? Does it mean that conversation are avoided and opinions are unspoken? Do my friends appreciate my candor, or dislike it?
I used to put my friends into categories, person A was the person to talk to if I needed to wail and be told that yes, my life was SO VERY DIFFICULT, person B was the person to talk to if I needed a slap in the face and told to pull myself together, nothing is ever that bad you big drama queen, and person C was the person who said who knows? let's get ice cream!
I like to think I could be all of those things, that I could read a person, decide what they needed at that moment and deliver, but it's very difficult over the wires, miles away from that person. Email can be so cold, and my instinct to be honest and plain can be translated at the other end as argumentative and uncaring.
Maybe I should be person C, ice cream never upset anybody.
Actually ice cream would possibly upset a diabetic, but I could suggest a fun fair or something.
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2 comments:
Friend A is most useful when buying clothes.
Friend B is useful on days when you know that the friend who requires a friend secretly knows they're talking bollocks and will come round eventually
Friend C is useful when all the friend wanted was an excuse to eat sugar :)
You are all of those things at the appropriate moment because you are good at reading people when you need to :)
I always get what you mean... and i hope you're not too scared to say it like it is if necessary. Sometimes that approach is very much appreciated. If it gets misconstrued via lines and wires you know I'm an 'A' person too sometimes so I'll just say. Oi! What do you mean! or OOps did i piss you off?? lmao
At the end of the day you've opened the door and pissed youself laughing when you've seen my "adonis boyfriend", you've had a ball bounced of your head because i didn't know what else do, I was so angry and we've eaten plenty of icecream and drank lots of wine. I think this suggests that we can all be all things! and we survive.
You think to much you do :)
Oh and screw those who don't get it! LOL They should know better!
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