How it starts....

I'm going to have a hot chocolate, I can't drink tea this close to going to bed, too much caffeine, it keeps me awake.

You shouldn't drink too much milk though

Why not?

Milk is bad for you, you shouldn't drink too much of it

What on earth are you talking about?

I don't know how or why, all I know is too much milk does you no good.

Then why do they give it to babies?

Dunno

And how can babies live on nothing but milk for the first few months of life if it's bad for you?

Dunno

Really? How can something capable of sustaining life be bad for you?

Dunno

Are you thinking of coke? Because that's fair enough, too much coke is no good.

No, milk, I am thinking of milk, too much milk is bad for you.

And how do you know this?

Oh christ, I wish I'd never said anything, I don't know how I know but I know.

How is it bad for you?

I don't know!

Is it bad for certain age groups? Are you talking about all dairy produce?

Please let it go now.

I can't! I need to know if I should have this hot chocolate and I can't have it until I know!

So don't have it!

But I want it!

But that hot chocolate is made with water, not milk.

Oh... well that's ok then, I can have it.

Yes, yes you can.

But why can't I have milk?

Just fucking let the fucking milk go!

Don't shout at me.

I didn't shout.

Yes you did, you shouted at me about milk.

Well I didn't mean to shout.

Say sorry

No

What?

I said no.

You are so unreasonable.

I will not pander to your over sensitive nature.

I am not over sensitive! All I wanted to know was why I shouldn't drink milk!

Oh. My. God. Really? Are you still banging on about milk?

Well you're the one who started on about it.

I didn't start on about anything, all I said was that I heard you shouldn't drink too much milk.

You said you knew why.

Did not.

Did too.

Fuck me... are you 10?

I hate you.

I hate you more.

You cannot possibly hate me more than I hate you.

Stop talking.

You stop talking.

Fine.

FINE!