Had row with someone over the email this morning which made me so annoyed I ended up sending this;
'Oh my God, could you make me feel anymore guilty? No really, please try, send me a video of you drowning kittens, cut your testicles off in a protest at me disclaiming your manhood, tie yourself to a cross with a sign saying 'paint for 135 Coombes Lane made me do this', please, I could really do with some hefty emotional baggage because clearly I am not doing enough for you.'
Oh dear, I should probably say sorry.
Again.
(Also not sure the bit about 'disclaiming' his manhood made sense, but I was typing too quickly to stop and think of the proper word.)
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