The inevitable is always eventual.

When I first met Glenn he was going to be a policeman. He had gone through the application process, the selection days and after a fair few months of wrangling they offered him a position in the met. The. Met. Which just screams DEATH to me, it just shouts of lots of walking around rough estates encountering junkies and trying to avoid getting stabbed, possibly in the face, and I love Glenn's face so I don't really want to see it get stabbed.

Anyway, after he met me (or should the be, after he opened the door of his happy life and let in the tornado) he was still on course for joining the met, but they were starting to mess him around, the waiting time for a start date seemed to be getting longer and longer and soon enough it was going to be two years since he first applied before he could start. He moved to my bit of the world to be with me and had a look around to see if any police forces around my way were taking applications, and they were. He applied to them. They lost his application, then they stopped taking them at all and we were back at facing what would happen to us when the met decided they wanted him down London way.

At this point he did a phenominal thing, a thing which is quite possibly the greatest thing a person has done for me since my parents decided to you know, have me and all. He gave it up. With no certainty of being able to get into another police force any time soon and the only work on offer being crappy office work, he just said no, and he did it for me, I mean he did for us, but really he did it for me. I could have given up my job and we could have moved down to London and I could have done the crappy office job while he persued his police career but he didn't even ask me to do it, not once. I have a job which takes up seriously huge chunks of my time, I am still looking for the job that I really love but in the meantime I am following a career which means I am best placed where I live right now, not London. So he told them to shove it and stayed with me.

Today he found out that the local police force are recruiting and he has requested an application and man, he is so excited! He can finally do what he wants to do AND he doesn't have to move to do it, life is perfect.

Trouble is me, I look forward and I can see long shifts, lonely nights and weekends, the fact that I will worry about him CONSTANTLY because that is just my nature. I am trying though, I am trying to stay positive, I am trying to look at this like it is such a good thing for him and if he is happy that can only bleed into our life together and make it even better. Thing is because the police has always been so far away I never took it seriously, and now I have to and it's a wee bit scary. I like my life right now, and I really don't want it to change, but it's going to and I have to deal with that and STOP BEING SO FUCKING SELFISH. Because that's all it is, a fear of change and an incredibly selfish attitude.

(NB: Do you see how I casually and unnecessarily used the word 'bleed' in that paragraph, that's where my head's at right now. Stabbed. In. The. Face.)

I love him, I appreciate the sacrifice he made for me more than he knows (even though when he did it I used to lie awake thinking 'Oh man, I really can't fuck this up like I did all the others now, this is a big thing he's done for me, holy crap, Must. Be. Responsible!') so I am going to think of all the many, many positive things that are going to come out of this (like more money!) and be very, very happy.

I will still worry about him being stabbed in the face though, but that's only because I love his face!