Multiple Choice

You wake up in the morning and for no reason other than a great deal of self loathing, you decide that, despite the fact that it is clearly hideous, you will wear the yellow blouse with the crudely drawn giant red flowers on it, to accompany your masochistic black, polyester trousers with the tappered leg that you think show off your ankles but actually just show off your socks.

You look at yourself in the mirror and notice that you cannot fasten all the buttons on the blouse without leaving giant gaps between each one, exposing a vast expanse of stretch marked skin.

Do you:

a) Change while crying softly into your wardrobe, or

b) Wear it anyway because you have no respect for yourself and besides, people will surely be too busy staring at your stripy black and red hair to really notice.