Our kids are gonna be funny lookin'

We almost had a disaster this week. I rang Mortgage Advisor Man on Tuesday to get a progress report on the house purchase because outragously he hasn't called for a little over a week and this has to be all done and completed two weeks from Tuesday just gone. He said;

Oh yes, Miss Davis, everything is fine Miss Davis, it's all terrifically smooth Miss Davis, there is just one small matter of the mortgage company not releasing the final offer of the money because Mr Keilloh's employer reference did not match what we put on the application

What does that mean? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

Well, it means Miss Davis that your application has been referred and is waiting for approval again Miss Davis, but please don't worry Miss Davis, I'm not worried Miss Davis so you shouldn't be.

Well of course you're not worried... YOU'RE NOT BUYING THE HOUSE

Please Miss Davis, you are my top priority Miss Davis, nothing will stand in the way of your purchasing this house Miss Davis, I am not worried Miss Davis and I will call you tomorrow.

And he did call me tomorrow, which was yesterday and the mortgage company has said that it is all ok but that didn't stop Glenn and myself having the mother of all rows via email, this involved me typing many things and then erasing them moments beofre I hit send because please don't let my relationship ever get into a mess where I go too far in a row and we can't get past it. Glenn is a hugely understanding person, and he's also very, very, very chilled out about anything that doesn't involve money or seats in a cinema. Unfortunately a row about a mortgage which he is already freaking out about fits nicely into the 'involves money' category and therefore he wasn't taking any prisoners. I come from a family of deeply committed shouters and therefore, I never take any prisoners (if there's one thing I am good at, it's reducing a very, very, very chilled out person to door slamming and running away scared). I said it was his fault and he said it was my fault and in his head he is picturing the games room with the framed photo of a blue cadillac disappearing and in my head a whole house I can decorate FROM SCRATCH just went up in smoke.

But it's all better now, the mortgage man came back and said that we can have the money after all, but not before my relationship was dented. His next job is to get on to the solicitor to find out waht is going on and whether or not they are dead because they HAVE STOPPED ANSWERING THE PHONE.

(I love the CAPS key, so much can be emphasised with one little key)

I have some thank you's to do now -

1) thank you to mochinbach for posting the photo's on this site
2) thank you to mochinbach for resisting what must have been a powerful urge to put certain photo's on this site that would have done my reputation as someone terribly cool (HA!) much damage
3) thank you to mochinbach and Matt (AKA King Of The BBQ, Lord Of The Flame) for letting us stay in the spare room (AKA the room where Glenn hides from the cats) after Glenn's resolve to not drink three nights in a row came crashing down three minutes after we got there

One well done -

Well done the the King of the BBQ, Lord of the Flame, for doing masterful things with meat products.

One recommendation -

click on the contributor under Spanair, the one called mochinbach and read 'rockinmochin', it's much better than this shit.