To celebrate The Birthday Of Weener, we are going to Alton Towers on Saturday. I don't really do amusement parks because I don't really do the rides, I got tricked onto a log flume once but that's another story and involves me sitting next to my then boyfriend and screaming 'MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!' as we plummet toward the earth, this would not have been so bad, has his mother not defied the G Force to turn around from her position DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF ME to give me the death stare.
The last time I went to Alton Towers was on a school trip where I was picked up and thrown Over the shoulder of the teacher I later made a complaint about and marched to some spinny, upside downy, giant wheel of terror and forced to queue with him and his monstrous breath while he tried to make me go on it with him (the ride, he tried to make me go on the ride with him, he didn't try and make me go on anything else, that came a good two years later, apparently once your pupil is 17 IT'S OK!).
So you see, amusement parks and I have a troubled history, I like Disney World, but I refused to go on Space Mountain and Terror Tower, I liked Universal Studios, until the Jurassic Park incident (see first paragraph and a wanton excuse to write MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRRRRRR in caps again) but on Saturday I will go and I will have a good time, oh yes I will.
Yes.
I will.
If it kills me.
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1 comment:
Lord of the flame has the same fear of spinnt things, as does Ant, Dunk and Mark. I fear I may be queuing alone!! LoL.
I love rides! I want to go on RITA! and AIR!
Yeah!!
You won't be forced to do anything you don't want to do! lol;) I promise!! (;)
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